Thursday, May 10, 2012

Top Ten Ways Men Say I Love You

Women like to talk about their feelings. And talk. And talk. They talk about their feelings over wine. Over the kitchen table. And over Skype. They talk about their feelings in pairs. They talk about their feelings in groups. And they read about their feelings in self-help books.

Men do not.

Men watch football games. They check out other guys' cars to hear how loud the exhaust pipes are. They drink beer and eat pizza. They are willing to do almost anything at all, including take out the garbage, and carry a sofa bed up three flights of stairs, as long as it does not involve talking about their feelings or anything close.

For women, it's the words. For men, it's the actions… So how do the two sexes communicate, much less hook up, have hot sex, and fall in love?

Savvy women have figured out that a man's words don't matter as much as his actions. 

In the movie "The Princess Bride," Buttercup was a young beautiful maiden and Westley was her faithful stable boy who fetched whatever she needed without complaint, responding with three words, "As you wish." Buttercup grew to realize that those three seemingly simple words were actually packed with feelings -- every time that Westley did her bidding, his actions were telling her how much he loved her.

But the "Princess Bride" was a fairytale and we live in a reality-based world. So how can a modern woman know when a modern man is saying "I love you" when he doesn't use the words?

Top Ten Ways A Man Says I Love You:

  1. When you're working late, he takes your car, gets the oil changed, and puts $25 bucks worth of gas in the tank.

  1. He cries harder than you do when your cat has to be put to sleep.

  1. He sends tulips on Valentine's Day instead of roses with a card attached that says, "What's better than four roses on my piano?" because he knows you know the punch line is "two lips on my organ."

  1. He turns in an Oscar-worthy performance when you want to play "out of town conventioneer" and "hooker with a heart of gold" during your last night in Vegas.

  1. He knows a bubble bath makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty.

  1. When you call him to tell him that you've been in a fender bender, he asks if you're okay before he asks about the car.

  1. When all the leftover Halloween candy disappears and you gain a few pounds, he acts like he believes your cover story about how the stupid dryer shrunk your jeans.

  1. He lets calls go to voice-mail when his call waiting beeps during phone sex.

  1. He encourages you to seduce the celebrity on your "laminated list" when you run into him at the bar during a drunken girls' night out.

  1. He asks Siri to read back all of his text messages to him while you're in the room.  

How does your man say "I love you"? Leave your favorite quote in the comments.

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