Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Takin’ It To The Streets!

It’s midweek and midwinter. You’ve got the blahs!  Even your sex life seems a little too tame right now. Maybe you need a change of scenery.  And we’re hoping you’re thinking of something more adventurous than just doing it at the foot of the bed. Get things out of the bedroom and into…well, a different room.   For many of us, that means behind the locked bathroom door, but for the more adventurous, maybe it’s time to try out a more exotic location. 

We’ve come up with eight ideas that are listed below. These are places where people have recently had sex, and they couldn't wait to share the exciting news. So if you are willing to pop few new pins into your sexual geography map, we’ve got a few ideas for you. (And some lube recommendations.) The key to adventure sex is to enjoy the experience and try to avoid getting arrested… so be careful and use caution… but have tons o’ fun!

1. A hot tub or backyard patio
It’s your own backyard.  You’ve got a privacy fence and your landscaping is finally giving you the privacy you’ve always wanted. Take advantage of a night that the kids are at Grandma’s house to fulfill your fantasies about outdoor sex. It’s the least risky way to do it. And the next time you write out your mortgage check you’ll actually think the house was worth every penny.

2. A movie theatre
This is the reason why horrible films like Mr. Woodcock earn any box office bucks at all. If you hit a matinee of a poorly reviewed film you should be able to have the back row or balcony all to yourself. Who cares about the plot? With any luck you’ll have your own climax before the second act.

3. A car in a public parking lot
Unless you’re a gymnast this may not be the best place for going all the way, but you and your significant other will feel like high school kids again if you spend a little time making out in the car before you leave the mall. Who cares if your parking validation runs out? The quality time you get to spend alone before mall security shows up and bangs on your fogged-up windows will be well worth every extra dollar you have to shell out.

4. The woods
We’re certain that the only reason anyone would agree to go camping in a tent is because there is nothing more fun than zipping your sleeping bags together and making love next to a campfire. By morning you’ll be wishing that you’re in a thick terrycloth robe at the Marriott, but the afterglow of sex in the woods will have you humming “Kumbaya” for hours. And the toasted marshmallows aren’t bad either.

5. The beach
This is the real reason that people take vacations to exotic locations. Sex on the beach is the ultimate adventure sex. Sex on the beach is so hot they’ve named a cocktail after it.  This kind of adventure sex is best attempted if you’ve got access to a private beach, but don’t forget that no one can see what goes on beneath the waves... or under a large beach towel. Aye, Aye, Cap'n!

6. An elevator
Finding a hotel or vintage office building equipped with an elevator that can be stopped without an alarm is a challenge, but the few moments of ecstasy you find between floors may be well worth the trouble. A few elevators from days of yore are even equipped with mirrors on the ceilings and walls. It’s almost like they’re asking you to have sex there… Bonus points awarded for getting frisky in one of those outside glass elevators.

7. A museum
You’ll have to choose your museum wisely – a children’s museum or an interactive museum isn’t the place for these kinds of shenanigans. But speaking of interactive, a little subtle groping and some heavy panting in the back row of a planetarium at your local observatory seems like just the thing that might spark an interplanetary explosion. No wonder every little boy wants to grow up to be an astronaut.

8. The ladies dressing room at fancy department store.
No one will notice if you sneak him in with you the next time you slip into the dressing room to “try a few things on.” You’ll have to keep the noise level to a minimum and any kind of dirty talk is completely out of the question, but that just adds to the excitement level. As long as you don’t have a nosy sales lady who checks under the door for an extra pair of feet, no one will guess that you’re doing anything other than trying to squeeze yourself into a pair of size six jeans.

1 comment:

  1. Use the men's dressing rooms, there is almost always nobody in them so it's easier to get a partner in and out without alerting the employees of the department store.