Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Strategies For Bouncing Back After A Break Up

It's seems like it's that time of year. After the holidays and before Valentine's Day, people with leaving on their mind, make the break. It's the time of broken hearts.  And the gloomy days of winter don't do a lot for anyone who's nursing a broken heart to move on to the next happy phase of life. So, what should you do if you're trying to get back into the swing of things after a broken heart? We've got a few ideas.

1. Get grateful

If you and your partner have decided to split, and your relationship status has changed, it's time for you to move on. Try not to focus on the negative aspects of the relationship. The things that people say when a bad relationship is coming unglued aren't necessarily the truth. Things may be said in anger. Try to be upbeat and put the focus on the positive parts of your life. And they are there in abundance. In fact, now is a great time to make a list of everything in your life that brings you joy. Make the list as often as you need to in order remind yourself about things you that make you happy.

2. Put on your Sunday suit

Get your hair done. Go shoe shopping. Buy yourself an electronic gift -- a new tablet or a TV for the bedroom. Now is not the time to get the radical hair cut you've always been too chicken to do. It's not the time to move to a foreign land or make heavy duty financial decisions. But take steps to make sure that you look like your best self.

3. Spend time with people you love and trust.

Everyone should have one person that the can turn to in a crisis. Find that persona and spend time with them in places that feel safe and comfortable to you. Don't return to places that remind you of the relationship that just ended until you're feeling better.  And now is probably not the best time to start dating. You'll know when it feels right for you again.

4. Avoid drugs & alcohol

A big glass of red wine may seem like just the thing to cure a broken heart, but there is nothing that will depress you and have you in tears faster than alcohol. It isn't a good idea when you're already feeling blue.

5. Get perspective

Talk to your friends. If you feel like you need to -- talk to a professional. Without assigning blame, see if you can figure out where the relationship went wrong, so that when you meet someone new, you'll be able to have learned a listen from your past romance.

6. Don't drunk dial

You and your partner both need a little time away from each other to heal and move on. Try not to get in touch. This is especially important if you don't take tip #4 and avoid drinking. Getting together for a booty call or crying on the phone with your ex won't help you move forward to a better place.

7. Get comfortable
Now is the time to get comfortable being alone with yourself again. Go to the movies alone. Take yourself out to the movies. Indulge in some seriously fun solo sex. Treat yourself well.  How else will you know how you want to be treated when someone new comes along?

Life is like a roller coaster. If you're at the bottom of the hill right now, you'll be back at the top soon. You just have to hang on for a bit and enjoy the ride.

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