Yes, Arousal Can Be Awakened
The anticipation of sex or the feeling of sexual arousal you get from this anticipation can be nurtured and awakened, even from a long slumber. There are steps you can take to bring back the passion and desire for sex, and the desire for your partner, to levels greater than before.
Let’s examine the common psychological causes of low libido. Lack of sexual desire can be rooted in self-consciousness about our body, performance anxiety, lack of sleep, stress from work or financial challenges, obsessing over creating the perfect environment for sex or the perfect fantasy for you or your partner. Each of these conditions can interfere with sexual arousal, squelching our lust and robbing us of the heightened sexual arousal you get from mere anticipation. Sexual trauma or getting past the fear of rejection can also be obstacles to overcome. If you are experiencing difficulty with desire, it is ok to seek professional counseling. There are many professionals who specialize in this field.
What can you do to combat the lack of sexual arousal on a daily basis? Aside from the popular physical fix of the ‘little blue pill’ for men and perhaps the controversial new “O” Shot for women, there are a number of things you can do to stimulate your brain which is an important sexual organ.
• Get enough sleep.
• Get plenty of exercise. Not only will you like yourself better and be less likely to be self-conscious about how you look, but there is evidence that any form of exercise that gets your blood pumping also increases blood flow to the genitals--this will be arousing in itself.
• Don’t bring tense discussions or disagreements into the bedroom. Leave those in a jar by the door. You can pick them up later.
• You must be able to set time aside to fantasize. This is difficult for some people but with practice, it works. Your fantasies can be very vanilla or very exotic. They are yours and you can choose to share them or keep them for yourself. As long as they are arousing to you, they are good for this exercise.
• You must be able to communicate your wants, needs, and desires.
• As someone in a relationship, you must be able to listen to your partner’s wants, needs, and desires. You don’t have to fulfill all of them, but you do need to listen.
Be a good listener. It is tempting to say…“Yeah, me too” or to chime in with some way to “fix” the situation. Don’t! Just listen. Try a hug and say, ‘I am sorry you are going through this’. You’d be surprised how this affection will translate into sexual desire later.
Be Engaged. Be actively interested in your partner by making time together to do arousing activities--By arousing, I mean fun, joyful, activities that awaken your senses -- a wide variety of choices abound. Whether you are walking arm-in-arm through the forest, running on a beach, playing golf, cooking a spicy meal together that you have never tried before or watching a movie while cuddling on the couch, be in the moment and take in all the sights, scents, and sounds around you.
Stay Connected. A phone call at lunch just to say, ‘I miss you.’; A sexy text message can prime you both for a steamy evening; A touch on the arm while laughing at jokes or even hand-holding while walking the dog, shows that you still care. The power of touch cannot be underestimated. The temperature in your relationship should increase exponentially and carry you through to an evening of bliss. If you still find yourself with a lack of desire, try initiating sex yourself, even if you are not usually the initiator. Use it or lose it is true for sexual desire. You need to stoke the flames to keep that fire burning.
Still feeling lackluster? Try massage first. Use sensual touch rather than sexual touch. You may find that putting in the time can yield sexy results. Be sure to check in with your partner to be sure they are feeling the same way before switching to sexual touch. Don’t have an agenda, just enjoy the massage.
Using the power of sensual touch can whet sexual appetites if you are open to it. We suggest trying Inttimo Massage oil. Unleash your sensual power through the ancient healing art of Aromatherapy. Inttimo by Wet's silky blend of seven vitamin-enriched natural oils glide on easily. Whether massaged into the skin, sprinkled into the bath water, or used to pamper every inch of each other’s body... Inttimo Aromatherapy Oil will balance mind, body, and spirit.
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More Hot Tips:
1. Greet Your Partner with a Kiss.
Hug and smooch immediately upon entering the door. This is something couples who have been together for a long time sometimes forget. Getting that hug at the end of the day makes your partner feel wanted and adored which helps relieve stress from a long day. It also releases oxytocin in the brain which makes us feel bonded.
2. Read Sexy Novels Aloud Together.
Suggested reading: Nancy Friday’s “My Secret Garden” and “Forbidden Flowers”. Read aloud to each other in segments, then, talk about what you find arousing in what was just read. Reading together and discussing how you feel helps explore desire and develops understanding how to feel good about what you want and you’ll both find it stimulating.
3. Surprise Your Partner and Show Your Gratitude.
Try giving a new bottle of flavored lube with a love note, that says... “Remember to save room for dessert.” Wet Flavored Gel Lubricants are pure fun and taste like real fruit. Pour them on for a tasty treat! Feels Delicious!® Now kosher!
by Lori S. Choi, Blogger and Advice Columnist